


THE PERFECT MOVIE SCRIPT!

by omegus



Category: Don't Starve (Video Game), Mafia (Video Games), The Simpsons
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:54:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25860889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omegus/pseuds/omegus





	THE PERFECT MOVIE SCRIPT!

are dead. You are dead. You are dead. "You are dead, no big surprise" Meliodas says as he stands over your corpse, his speaker holes close. "Well glad you could finally make an appearance." He says. > You are dead. You are dead. You are dead. You look at the knife in your hand, the bloody blade now soaked in your blood. You're dead. You've failed. "GoodbYou ye my love." > You say "I am dead" You say "I am dead" Your eyes close and your body relaxes. You have failed. A last scream tears out of your throat as you fall into eternal sleep. Death has claimed another soul. You are dead, but at the same time you're not. As you're dead you... You are dead, no big suprise. "Well glad you could finally make an appearance." Meliodas says as he stands over your corpse, his speaker holes close. You reach for the knife, but find your hand goes through it. > You dead once more. You are dead, no big suprise. You open your eyes and you're lying in bed. It's morning and you're in your room. You're alive. Last night you... > You dead, no suprise. You are dead, no big suprise. "Goodbye my love." You say as you enter the gates of Hell. You look at your hand, but it seems to have regenerated. > You say "I LOVE BEING DEAD! NO BIG SUPRISE!" " You scream and hold your head in pain. "You okay there?" Castus says. "I am the Black King, the greatest warrior to have ever lived! > You say "You are dead, no big suprise." "I am the Black King, the greatest warrior to have ever lived! You say as you laugh. "You are the devil." Meliodas says. " > You are dead, no big suprise. "I am the Black King, the greatest warrior to have ever lived! You laugh as you get out of bed. "We need to go Castus." You say. "What? Why? It's Saturday!" Castus says. "It's not, today's Saturday. You know, the day of the week?" "Oh right, did I have a weird non-work dream?" " WTF just happened! I just joined and saw... You have gained a new psychic power! You can enter peoples dreams! Jesus christ that's rough... "What the hell did you just do to me?" Elios says as he steps out of his tent. "I don't know, what happened?" Fay asks. "He just joined and did this!" > You say "He just joined and did this!" "He just joined and did this!" You have gained a new psychic power! You can enter peoples dreams! Jesus christ that's rough... "What the hell did you just do to me?" Smug shrug... "I don't know, what happened?" "I just joined and did this!" What happens next? Hapu from Kwik-E-Mart... "Hey guys, I know! Let's hold up the Kwik-E-Mart!" "That's a great idea Hapu." "Seriously? You're agreeing with him? Homer Simpson king of duff... "Alright Hapu, you're the manager. Go make sure the safe is full up." "Uh, I can't Homer. I'm afraid someone has taken all the money that was in the safe." Homer duffs Hapu up... "What the hell is going on in this town?" Moe is feeding snake's to Barnie emperor of alchohol... "I've just joined and already I'm the boss!" "I don't understand, I thought it was Bart that was the boss." "Nope, he's the slave. I am the master." Marge The hair queen... "Why is everyone forgetting that I'm a woman?" "Because you're hideous." "You just don't know how good I feel, let me show you." Lisa farts in your general direction... Lisa the tooter becomes buddha... "What happened to her?" "I think she became a Buddhist." Kirk the destroyer of worlds... "Dude, you missed." "No way! My bullet went through your head!" Mafia inensifies... "Hey, I'm part of the mob." "Yeah, but you're a halfbreed, so you're not really part of the family. Bart, the pronker of the memer of stonks... "Alright everyone, the next round is on me, make sure to throw down some ratles though." "Rattle?" "A coined word for money." You leave with your friends... Mario makes you... "Hey, you're not a plumber are you?" "No, I'm not." "I thought so, your jumping skills are too good." "...thanks." Peaches makes you... "Hey, you want to make out?" "What?" "I'll race you to the park." "I'm not a quitter." "Neither are Peaches..." LOL MAGGIE JUST KILLED YOU! "She what?" "I think she killed you..." Well, in any case you have now joined the misfits. BART THE TOOTER OF LISA THE LOLLER OF PRONK WOULD LIKE TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION... Well I could take you to him. Yes, you can join the misfits too! Well, what do you think? I don't know yet, shall we get some drinks first? Sure. ALALALALA MAGGIE IS THE MATRIX LORD SUCK SUCK ON PACIFIER PA PA PA PA... Hmm, I don't remember that one... So you've joined the misfits. > You hEKK. Ah, the misfits. A group of guys that just don't fit in, but they hang out with each other anyway. Their leader is a strange fellow called Hexxus. > You Freddy FAZBEAR TEACHES YOU AND FOXY HOW TO TOOT. Yeah, the first rule of the misfits is to never admit you're one of them. You take Hexxus up on his offer and meet him in his room. He looks very weird. More than usual. "Hey Hexy, so what's up?" "I have something special planned for you two, come with me." > You tOY. Hexxus takes you into his "Toy room". It's filled with bizarre machinery and half finished inventions. He shows you a robotic teddy bear that sings a song when it sees you. > You tEACH IT HOW TO TOOT. He takes the robotic teddy bear and stuffs it into a drawer. "Now this is one of my more advanced toys, but I'm not too sure about it. It's rather weird. > You say "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART" The robotic teddy bear is not impressed and singes your ear. > You say "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW" You yell in pain and a trail of blood drips from your ear. You fall to the ground in agony. "It's not finished yet, you might survive..." > You say "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY" You scream one last time as your soul is absorbed by the depths of hell. JESUS MAGGIE IS MAD AT THE HELL BEAR TOOTER POOPER SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE JK, in fact Hexy was so excited he didn't tell you what he planned and you just tooted your head off for the whole movie. Not fun at all.  
> You say "wow, that was the craziest movie yet" Yep. You are the TOIEST to be sure. In any case you decide that you would much rather be around other gags than being tortured and killed in a dark place like hell. it was a MAGGIE MOVIE. Maggie doesn't really have a movie. Well at least not one that is widely known by normal people. Well, you know what to do... MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE You toot once, the world turns into a surrealistic landscape with strange characters from various movies and games. Some look like caricatures of people, while others are just strange creatures. WILSON FROM DON'T STARVE HITS ME WITH HAM BATON! TIS A TRAP! PAUL FRY SPEWS GREASE! FIRE COMES OUT OF HIS BACK! MAXWELL JUDGES WILSON AND SLAPS HIM WITH A THULECITE CLUB! "YOU ARE SAFE! I BROUGHT THE PAUL BROWN!" MOGGIE SAMPSONAS WOULD LIKE THEIR SUCKY SUCKY PACIFIER BACK! TOMMY THE TICK BECOMES A BLOOD SUCKER! JOHNNY CASHMAN BECOMES A HELL BEATER! JIBANYAN HAS A STROKE ON THE NECK! "I THOUGHT I HAD HIM!" "HEY WILSON, LOOK AT THIS SUCKER! MR. BURNS THE SKINNY DUDE! HE IS NEARLY DEAD!" "THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING!" "STOP THIS, STOP THIS NOW!" "CUT! THAT WAS FUN, WE CAN DO BETTER! THE MOVIE IS GOING VERY WELL, SO FAR!" "Oh, this is good." "I agree, let's do better than that!" ... Later... "OKAY PEOPLE, THAT IS THE BEST YET! MORE ACTION SAMPSONAS MAJESHB LOLOLOL" You are in awe. You see a bald man wearing a leather jacket with black gloves and boots enter the room. He smiles and applauds. "That was awesome! HELL IS ALMOSY UPON US!" Everyone seems to be scared of this man. You are no exception. He sits down in the directors chair and takes off his gloves. "Who is this?" " BART KILLL LFOQLR0OQLOIEV4UIWHVOU FARQUAD SAYS GOOD EVENING!" "Good evening to you sir." "I must say, I haven't seen such a good movie since Snakes on a Plane! Yes-yes-yes! I'm ready for my close up! FUNTIME CHICA WANTS YOU TO EAT HER SPECIAL CUPCAKE!" The director turns to you. "Now then, I'm sure you must be confused about all this, so I have someone here who can explain it all to you. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MORTY SAMPSONA LIKES LE PIUIFAHOWP diNDBSHJALM.FJD hAPU LIKS U TOOTER BOOTER.TATLMORTY" The assistant stands up and motions for you to follow him.   
"Hey man, why are they afraid of me?"   
LOL


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